


Music x and x Memories

by HanaKaicho



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Android Character, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Mild Gore, Rave, Swearing, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:20:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24797569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HanaKaicho/pseuds/HanaKaicho
Summary: Rave AU23 year old Killua is on the run from his family and he's searching for something his family tried to make him forget. He spends his nights at clubs and his days sleeping in the beds of his one-night stands. It's not great but free, untraceable room and board is a great perk.One night, at a club known as Greed Island, home to his favorite DJ, Killua meets someone.
Relationships: Ging Freecs/Kaito | Kite, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 53
Kudos: 62
Collections: Hxhbb





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to my hxhbb20 fic!
> 
> I originally planned out to be MUCH longer but I was realized I bit off more than I could chew and this is the result! I'm still proud of how it came out (and that it came out at all lol)
> 
> This was 100% inspired by hearing Freaks by Timmy Trumpet and being like "You mean Freecss? :D"
> 
> Enough from me, though, here's the fic!

Killua awoke with a sigh. He rolled over to check his phone. 1:07 pm. Three unread messages. All from the girl from last night.

_Last night was great! I’ve never been with someone as talented as you! Especially not as drunk as we were :P_

_As drunk as_ you _were,_ Killua thought to himself. 

_There are eggs and bacon and stuff in the fridge you can use to make breakfast or you can have some cereal. Whatever you want really! I wish I hadn’t had to leave so early! >< I totally would have made you something! _

_Feel free to use the shower too! And maybe… if you’re still around when I get home… another round? ;)_

_Well, I guess it’s time to go._

He rolled out of the bed, collected his things, and took her up on the food and the shower.

At about a quarter past two, he headed out, locking the door knob on his way out.

_Thanks. I had a good time too. If I’m ever at Trick Tower again, I’ll be in touch_

He almost certainly wouldn’t see her again. Trick Tower wasn’t a good enough club to risk a return trip either. It wasn’t busy enough, the music wasn’t good, and he’d seen several mouse-sized cockroaches. The sex last night was probably the best part of his time in this city. The girl had been good, too. Killua wondered if she remembered his name any more than he remembered hers, or if it was just a one-night stand to her, too. But Killua knew better than to burn bridges, so he faked interest, offered false hope, whatever he needed to do.

It wasn't that he didn't enjoy it, but traveling around and screwing people for lodging wasn't exactly the poshest he'd ever lived. It was still better than sleeping on the street and way cheaper and less traceable than staying at a hotel. It also wasn't uncommon for people to be so satisfied and blissed out they’d offer him a meal the next day. He was a _really_ good lay. Lots of practice meant he had a lot of experience to draw on when coming up with creative ideas, and, more importantly, learned to listen to his partner. Still, a new person practically every night got tiresome. 

But no matter what it took, he wasn’t giving up his freedom and he was going to find what he was looking for.

***

The club he was headed for this time was called Greed Island. It was a popular club in the area and there were two main things to which it owed its popularity.

The first was its location. It was actually in a busier suburb rather than in a nearby city, allowed to be there because it was a silent club where everyone wore headphones to listen to the music. Killua liked these kinds of clubs. He could control the volume on the headphones and he could even leave one ear open in case he needed to be on alert. The club also had rigorous security, which kept any of the nonsense that had a tendency to spring up at clubs to a minimum. Being as accessible as it was gave them a huge customer base to draw from.

The club’s other claim to fame was that it was the home to the world famous DJ Freak. He was widely hailed as the best DJ of the era, respected and envied by many other big timers. He was actually playing Greed Island that night. Killua wouldn’t deny that that was part of his interest in coming to this club.

Once inside, Killua donned his signature white cat ears and headed into the crowd to mingle. Before he had managed to meet anyone, across the dance floor, someone caught Killua's eye. He first thought the dancer was a girl because of their skirt swaying as they danced. A skater skirt with reflective fluorescent trim and detail, entrancing as they glowed under the black lights. 

But everything else about them looked like a boy. Their chest was flat, wrapped in a lace up crop top, and their rich, smooth brown skin gave a softness to their otherwise toned, flat stomach. They had hints of a beard and medium short hair, waxed or gelled up and out of their angular face. 

That face. 

Though everyone there was enjoying themselves, this person was glowing. Such pure, unadulterated joy radiated from their expression that Killua couldn't look away. 

Drawn to the dancer like a moth to light, Killua picked his way across the dance floor to them. 

Killua tapped the person on the shoulder and took off his headphones, signaling them to do the same. The stranger stopped dancing and took off their headphones. 

"Hi!" the person said, a bit too loud for the quiet of the club without headphones. They noticed and tried again. "Sorry, too loud. Hi! How are you? You're gorgeous!" 

Killua flushed red. This person was very forward, even for the rave scene. "Th-thanks. You look great too!" he stuttered out. "Your skirt caught my eye. And your smile, too. You look… like you're enjoying yourself a lot." 

"I am!" the person said. "And thanks! I love wearing skirts to dance in! Oh, by the way, I'm Gon! What's your name?" 

"Killua," he answered. 

"Nice to meet you!" Gon said. "Is this your first time at Greed Island? I don't think I've seen you before!" 

"Yeah, I travel around a lot," Killua said.

"Oh! That sounds fun!" Gon said. "My dad travels a lot too, playing at different clubs but he always comes back to play here at my mom's club!" 

"Your mom owns this club? I guess you get in for free, then, huh?" Killua said with a laugh. 

Gon laughed back. "Yeah, but I gotta work here, too." 

"And your dad is a DJ?" Killua asked. 

"Yeah! He's the one playing right now!" Gon answered. 

Killua was dumbstruck.

"Your _dad_ is _DJ Freak_?" he asked incredulously. 

"Yup!" said Gon. "He's probably part of why I'm so into this stuff! I've been listening to it since my mom was pregnant with me, so, like, twenty-three years?" He laughed again. 

"Man, who's your mom?" 

"The bartender!"

"Uhh, the bartender is a dude," Killua said, confused. "I mean, he's got long hair but I'm pretty sure he's a dude." 

Gon nodded. "That's him! Do you want a drink? I'll introduce you!"

Without waiting for an answer, Gon took Killua's hand and excitedly pulled him to the bar. 

"Hey, mom!" Gon said as he got into one of the bar seats and encouraged Killua to do the same. 

"Hello, Gon," the bartender said. "Who's your friend?" 

"This is Killua," Gon said. "They're in town to see Ging spin." 

"'He,'" Killua corrected.

" _He's_ in town to see Ging spin, " Gon amended. 

"I'm Kite, Gon's mother. It's nice to meet you, Killua. And, yes, I am a man, you are right." 

Killua blushed, a bit embarrassed, and murmured an apology. It was easy to forget that silent clubs were, in fact, silent outside the headphones and that any conversations could be easily heard. Kite insisted it wasn't a problem. 

He realized, as Gon chatted with his mother, that something about Kite had him off balance. It wasn't that a man had just introduced himself as Gon's mother either. There was something… nostalgic? Familiar? Something about Kite that gave Killua some feeling of closeness to him immediately that he couldn't understand. 

_Have I met someone like this before?_ Killua wondered. 

The fuzzy part of his brain he’d had since he ran away from home itched as he continued to try to puzzle it out. It got uncomfortable enough that he gave up.

He realized he hadn’t answered Kite.

“Nice to meet you, too,” he said. “Can I get a not your father’s root beer?”

“Of course,” said Kite. “What about you, Gon?”

"Hmm," Gon considered. "I guess I just want water for now." 

"You don't drink?" Killua asked. 

"Not much," said Gon. "I don't really like the taste and I can usually taste the alcohol even in most mixed drinks." 

"Hm."

Killua took a sip from the drink Kite handed him, slouching comfortably into the chair. He could appreciate the sentiment. He mostly ordered super sweet drinks for about the same reason. 

"So what kinds of places have you been?” Gon asked.

“I’m just enjoying myself touring clubs,” Killua said. “My family is pretty well off, so I can go pretty much anywhere I want.”

“Cool!” Gon was enthusiastic, leaning up out of his seat. “Have you seen my dad play anywhere else?”

“Oh yeah! Lots of places!" Killua couldn't help but mirror Gon's excitement. "And I’ve tried to see him at even more! He's a _legend_!”

"So since you're traveling, do you have a hotel room you're staying at or are you…what's the term?... Couch surfing?" 

"Yeah, I'm couch surfing." 

"Do you want to stay with me tonight? We have a spare bedroom, or you can stay in my room if you want," Gon offered. 

"Sure, if that's cool with your parents, thanks!" 

Gon looked at Kite for approval. 

"Sure," he said. "That's fine. The spare room is already made up." 

"Sweet!" Gon cheered. "Okay, wanna get back to dancing?" 

"Yeah, let's!" 

They finished their drinks and headed back to the dance floor. 

Killua was hypnotized by Gon's infectious joy and excitement as they danced together. He was also caught up on Gon's unprompted offer. It wasn't common for someone to just offer him a place to stay without him doing a little enticing first. 

At the end of the night, they headed back to Gon's place ahead of his parents who stayed to close the club with their other employees. Gon said they'd probably be home in around an hour. 

"They usually go straight to bed, but their room is at the other end of the house so we don't have to worry about bothering them. Do you want to take a shower?" Gon asked, letting them into the house. 

"Yeah, that would be great," Killua said. "Thanks." 

_Ah, here it is. Thought so._

"Okay, I'll get you a towel. You can use my soap and stuff if you need it," Gon said. 

Killua followed Gon to a closet where he pulled out a fresh towel and washcloth for Killua and handed them to him. 

"Here you go! The bathroom is right behind you. Let me know when you're done so I can take one too."

So, apparently the forest smell he'd noticed on Gon at the club wasn’t just cologne. Everything in this shower had some sort of woodsy scent. Shampoo, conditioner, and body wash, all with the scents of various trees. And…was that live moss in the corner? Hm…

After they had both showered, Gon asked, “Do you want to stay in the guest room or in my room?”

It took Killua a moment to answer. Did he get the wrong idea? Was Gon not expecting sex? 

“Oh, there’s plenty of room in my bed if you want to stay in my room, but if you want more space, you can stay in the guest room!” Gon clarified, misinterpreting Killua’s delay. “We can hang out for a while in my room, like we’re having a slumber party, haha!”

Killua laughed. “What, like we’re ten?”

They laughed together.

“So…your cat ears blend in so perfectly with your hair. Do you dye it?”

"Nope, this is my natural color." 

"No way!" Gon said. “Can I play with it? It looks really soft.”

“Uh, sure, I guess.”

“Okay! Come sit!”

They sat on Gon’s bed together, Killua in front, Gon behind. Gon worked his fingers through Killua’s hair, gently tugging Killua’s hair and massaging his scalp with his fingers. It felt nice and he closed his eyes.

_Just for a minute…_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua heads back out on the road but he keeps ending up back at the Freecss household. Gon tries to get him to stay.

Or so he thought.

The next thing Killua knew, he was waking up in Gon’s bed, Gon a surprisingly intense heat source at his back. He was still wearing all his clothes and the only thing that had really changed was that he was laying down instead of sitting. He stretched, sat up, and looked back at Gon, still snoozing peacefully. It was well into the afternoon already. He’d been asleep for… oh shit, ten hours? When was the last time he’d slept so long sober?

He got up, used the bathroom, and headed into the kitchen for some water.

Already in the kitchen was a very grumpy looking, possibly hungover man. He was a little shorter than Gon but otherwise looked strikingly similar to him.

“Killua?” the man asked.

“Uh, yeah...” 

“Ging.”

“Nice to meet you, Ging.”

“Coffee?” Ging offered. “I can’t make it worth a damn but there’s not a drink my husband can’t make so it’s pretty good.”

“Thanks,” Killua said.

“Help yourself. Mugs are over the coffee maker. Creamer, fridge, sugar, counter. Enjoy.”

Killua tried not to stare too much at Ging as he left the kitchen, instead busying himself getting a mug and making himself a cup of coffee.

He heard Gon come down the hallway and greet Ging in the hallway.

“Hey, Ging!”

“Hey, kiddo. Your…Killua is in the kitchen.”

Part of Killua thought, _‘Your Killua’ is right,_ while the rest of him blushed furiously and tried to refocus on the coffee.

_Wait. ‘Kiddo?’_

Holy shit.

That was DJ Freak.

He just got offered coffee by the god of EDM!

_Okay, steady, Killua. Don’t be a fanboy._

“Morning, Killua!” Gon said. “Or afternoon, I guess.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, hey. Sorry for falling asleep on you last night.”

“No worries! It was great! I loved it!”

Killua blinked in surprise. “O-oh. Okay, cool.”

Gon grimaced. “That came out weird didn’t it?”

 _So far, it seems like_ everything _you say comes out weird._

“Nah. Well, maybe a little,” Killua acknowledged. “It’s okay, though. Guess you just have magic fingers or something!”

Killua kicked himself internally for not shutting up before getting to “magic fingers.”

Gon laughed appreciatively. “How’s the coffee?”

“Good, thanks,” Killua said.

“You didn’t _freak_ out too bad at meeting my dad,” Gon said, a mischievous grin on his face.

Killua rolled his eyes. “Ha-ha.”

Gon giggled at his own joke.

“Well, I guess I’m gonna head out soon,” said Killua.

“Oh, already?” Gon asked.

“Yeah, I don’t like to stay in one place too long. I usually go to a different club almost every night.” 

“Okay, well, let me give you my number!” said Gon. “If you’re ever at Greed Island again, I’d really like to meet up with you again. I had a good time with you last night! You’re a really good dancer!”

"Thanks, me too." 

The words left Killua's mouth with unprecedented ease. He wanted to be honest with Gon. 

And he wanted to see him again. 

So for the first time since starting his club hopping journey, Killua said, "I'll keep in touch," and meant it.

***

 _Is it even physically possible for my brain to itch?_ Killua groused. 

This was one of the most bothersome parts of getting his memory partially erased: the persistent spot of vagueness in his brain.

The first phase of a memory erasure procedure was to isolate and block off the memories to be destroyed so the machine didn’t risk undesirable damage. If the process was interrupted, it pretty reliably led to stuff like this: a fuzzy spot in your brain. You knew it was there and maybe you even had a suspicion of what was in there, but trying to access the information inside got you nothing but irritation. 

He'd traveled, he'd tripped, he'd tried again and again to focus and break through the partition by sheer force of will but, in the end, all he got was more of the same fuzz and frustration.

Constant. Persistent. Pervasive. 

Why wasn't anything good ever any of those things? 

_Except being with him._

No matter how many times he went away over the weeks and months, Killua always came back to visit Gon at Greed Island.

He couldn't really explain what gave him the feelings that drew him back. Sure, there were lots of perks to visiting Gon and coming to Greed Island but none of them were unique to Gon or his parents' club. 

Well… 

Maybe some were. 

He'd never felt quite so at home and considered part of the family than when he stayed at the Freecss house. Ging wasn't around all that much, but Killua came to learn he wasn't always as grumpy as the first time they met, and they enjoyed their time together. It turned out they both had a very sarcastic streak and, when they were together, the sass came hot and fast. 

Kite was a pleasant man to be around. He learned that Gon called him his mom because he had been the one to get pregnant with Gon. He wanted to be called Gon's mother even though he was a man because he carried Gon and that was important to him. He was generally kind and, like Ging said, there wasn't a drink he couldn't make, but he did have a temper at times. 

And Gon. 

In truth, he hated himself for coming back so much. He knew he was putting Gon, his family, and everyone at the club in danger by returning; more so each time. 

But he couldn't help it. 

He needed to be with Gon. 

One night, as they relaxed together in Gon's bed, Gon paused in playing with Killua's hair and asked, "Killua?"

"Hm?" 

"Why don't you stay here? With me?" 

"I, uh…" Killua faltered. 

The more Gon knew, the more danger they were both in. 

"I know there's something going on that makes you keep leaving, but you always come back so why don't you stay?" Gon continued. "My parents are okay with it. I already asked. You could stay here in my room or you could move into our guest room." 

"I…can't, Gon," Killua said. "I'll only put you and your family in danger. I'm doing that enough already by coming back here so often, really, so staying here is totally out of the question." 

There was silence for a while which was absolutely _fabulous_ for Killua's nerves. 

Gon sighed quietly and started running his fingers through Killua's hair again. 

"At least tell me what's so dangerous." 

"You wouldn't believe me," Killua deflected. 

"I'll believe anything you say if you tell me it's the truth." 

Killua didn't know how to respond. Gon's seemingly simple nature made his deft verbal disarming a complete surprise. 

"I…uh," Killua tried to come up with a lie but somehow they all fell apart in his mind now.

He took a deep breath and decided to answer this question truthfully, another as-of-yet-unseen choice.

“I’m trying to run from my family and… I’m looking for something, or maybe someone,” Killua said. “I don’t remember who or what I’m looking for, but I know it’s important. They were trying to erase my memories when I woke up and got away, but they had already done some damage.”

Gon’s hands had slowed but he continued to play with Killua’s hair.

“I’m…” Killua chewed his lip nervously. “I’m a Zoldyck.”

If Gon was shocked or horrified that he had a member of the family that was one of the biggest names in the criminal world sitting in his bed, it wasn’t obvious yet. He kept on toying with Killua’s hair.

“So you’re scared to stay with me because you think your family will find you here if you stay too long?” Gon asked.

“They’ll find me with _you_ and your parents,” Killua emphasized. “If we’re all lucky, they’ll just kill you.”

His stomach turned at thoughts of what might happen if they _weren't_ lucky. 

"Then I'll come with you," Gon said. 

“What?” Killua exclaimed, bolting upright and turning to stare at Gon. “Hell no!”

Gon looked startled and even a bit hurt. “Why not? I just work at the club and my parents would let me take time off to - ”

“Why do you think I keep leaving?” Killua demanded. “Because it’s dangerous! Because _they’re_ dangerous!”

“But - ”

“‘But’ nothing!” Killua overrode. “You think it’ll be any safer with me? Away from here? They’re targeting _me_! And if you’re with me, you’ll be in the crosshairs, too!”

“I know that, but… I want to be there to help you,” Gon said. "And if I come with you, I'm the one putting myself in danger. And just me! Not my family or anyone else!"

"You'll still be in danger," said Killua, determined not to give into Gon. "Absolutely not. And if you don't agree to stay, I won't ever come back here to see you again." 

"You won't have to if I come with you," Gon countered. 

Killua ground his teeth.

“I’ll leave you behind in the middle of the night and you’ll never see me again,” Killua threatened.

“You always come back for me, though, don’t you?” Gon asked simply.

“Are you saying you don’t believe me?” Killua asked.

Gon nodded.

Killua locked eyes with Gon. A tense silence filled the room.

After what felt like about an hour and a half (but was really only about a minute and a half), Killua huffed a frustrated sigh and conceded.

“Yeah, well, you’re probably right,” he said. “I dunno why but I always want to come back here and see your rowdy ass.”

Gon smiled. “Good! Same here!”

“Are your parents really going to let you just up and come with me?” Killua asked.

“Yeah, I’m sure they will!” Gon said confidently. “Though we should probably leave out the part about who your family is.”

“Yeah… Well, I guess if you're coming, get packing.”

"Yesssss!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua and Gon end up out together but, as it turns out, they're easier to track together...

Killua had to change up his strategy for lodging now that he had Gon to consider. He tried to stick to cities that had love motels since they'd be cheap and confidential.

He didn't have plans on doing anything sexual with Gon, no matter how nice that sounded. It wasn't that Gon wasn't attractive, but he was so used to a strategy of "fuck and fuck off" that he didn't know how he might handle having sex with someone he actually wanted to keep around.

Plus, Gon hadn't shown any real signs of interest. The night they met they had definitely done their fair share of flirting and he'd slept in Gon's bed multiple times, but he never got the sense Gon wanted anything more than that. 

If he was really honest with himself, he was pretty sure he was in love with Gon. They had known each other for less than a year but Killua already felt like he could barely live without Gon and his attention. He had probably fallen for him on the night they met and their relationship had only grown closer and stronger. But… what would he do with that information? What _ could _ he do with it? 

He supposed he'd have to figure it out sometime…

Sometime, but not now. 

***

For a while, their trip was relatively uneventful. Gon tried to help Killua figure out what he might be looking for, and they otherwise spent their time enjoying themselves. 

They danced. 

They ate. 

They slept. 

And that was their life. 

Whenever they went to clubs that weren't silent, Gon wore ear protection to avoid getting overwhelmed by all the noise inherent at a club. His ears and nose were unnaturally sharp and a smell too strong or a sound too loud could put him out of commission. 

It was their third week on the road when Killua first saw him. 

He was at the bar waiting to order drinks for the two of them when he heard, 

"Apple schnapps with ice in a whiskey glass." 

The hair on the back of Killua's neck prickled and his whole being screamed to run. 

As stealthily as he could, he glanced at the person who had just ordered. 

Skin ghostly pale.

Long, silky, ink black hair. 

Cold, emotionless eyes reminiscent of something recently deceased. 

_ Illumi! _

Killua ducked back into the crowd, stowing his signature cat ears and pulling a jacket out of his bag. 

Texting furiously on his phone, he told Gon to meet him in the bathroom.  _ Now _ . 

Once in the bathroom, he pulled out hair chalk he kept on hand for just such an occasion. 

The bathroom door swung open and Gon walked in, pulling his ear defenders off.

"Killua, what's going on? Is -?" 

Killua lunged at Gon, covering his mouth. 

"It's my oldest brother, Illumi," he said in a loud whisper. "We need to disguise and leave right now. Switch clothes with me!" 

Killua really wished he had time to admire Gon and his rich, smooth skin doing his muscles  _ so _ many favors. The way the tight shorts he wore under his skirt hugged his thighs and - 

He didn't have time for this. If he thought with his dick right now, they were both dead. Probably Gon first in a horrible, torturous, literal way that Killua would have to watch every second of.

He quickly put Gon's clothes on. They were a bit small for him, but they'd have to do. He looked back in the mirror and finished covering his hair in dark purple and blue chalk. Once satisfied with his own disguise, he looked back at Gon. 

Rave pants were supposed to be big but Gon was going to trip on those things. 

"Damn, am I that much taller than you?" Killua asked. 

"I guess so," said Gon. "Is there space in your bag for the bottom parts of the legs? I'll just unzip them." 

"No, but I'll make room," Killua said. "If he sees us, we'll need to run." 

Killua managed to stuff practically half of his pants in his tiny backpack and prepared himself for escape. Damn this skirt was short on him. It easily made it most of the way down Gon's thighs, but on Killua it was barely at his mid-thigh. 

But Illumi was here and he needed to do whatever was necessary to escape. If that meant running around in a city he barely knew in a short skirt, so be it.

"Ok, Gon, are you ready? We need to act normal so he doesn't notice us, but if that doesn't work, we'll need to run," Killua said. 

"Okay," Gon answered. 

"Remember, if we have to run, the first chance we get to split up, do it. Illumi will follow me and you'll - " 

"No!" Gon interrupted. "I won't leave you to handle him on your own! What if he catches you? If we aren't together, I won't be able to help you!" 

"I've been doing this for years, Gon," Killua said. "He's not gonna catch me. And even if he does, I'll figure something out." 

Gon frowned, obviously unsatisfied. 

"Think of it this way, if we're together, he'll either catch us both or he'll catch me and kill you and then there will be no one to come rescue me before he can cart me back home," Killua said. "If you don't hear from me within an hour and a half of splitting up, something's wrong and you can come look for me." 

It was bullshit. Gon stood no chance against Illumi. No one really did. An hour and a half would be plenty of time for Illumi to have captured him and left the area before Gon would even start looking for him. He'd be safe. Angry, but safe. 

But it did the trick and Gon agreed to the plan. They headed back out into the club. 

"If we have to run, don't go back to the room until you hear from me," Killua said. 

"Okay." 

Killua cast a cautious look to the bar. 

_ Shit _ . 

Illumi wasn't there anymore. 

His heart rate increased. He felt like a rabbit who had lost sight of a fox. 

He quickened their pace to the exit as he searched the crowd desperately. Illumi blended in unfortunately well to crowds of club goers. Killua looked up at the mirrored ceiling and, to his horror, he saw Illumi right behind them. 

Killua wanted nothing more than to run but if Illumi hadn't noticed then, he would if they ran. Instead, he pushed towards the exit more determinedly and checked the ceiling frequently to keep an eye on Illumi.

Gon must have noticed, too, because he pulled Killua in front of him to act as a barrier.

Right before they reached the door, something caught Illumi’s attention and he turned, moving back into the crowd in a different direction.

The last few steps before the door felt like they took ages even though the traffic was lighter the closer they got. Were they ever going to get there?

Finally, they exited the club into the cool night air and, about twenty minutes later, they were locking their hotel room door behind them.

“I am so pissed at you right now,” Killua said. “Pulling me in front of you like that, making yourself a target. You're shorter than me! You weren't even hiding me!”

“But your family doesn’t know who I am or what I look like!” Gon countered.

“Yeah, well, it won’t stay that way if you keep pulling stuff like that!” Killua argued. “Are you stupid or something?”

“Yeah! I’m stupid!” Gon said. “And I’m gonna keep doing it anyway! I’m gonna protect you!”

Killua tried really hard not to let go of his irritation with Gon, but failed.

"Thank you, Gon," Killua said. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten angry. I was just scared.  _ Really _ scared. It's just Illumi - " 

"I know, I get it," Gon said. "I'm not sorry for what I did, but I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable doing it. Will you forgive me?" 

"Yeah," said Killua. He smirked then and said, "But I'll have to give you shit about it for a while, you know that right?" 

"What?" Gon whined. "Come on!" 

Killua laughed and hugged Gon. 

"Okay, I guess I can let you off this time." 

Gon hummed and squeezed Killua back. 

"You know," said Killua, feeling an uncomfortable draft. "Maybe we should change back into our own clothes." 

"Yeah," Gon agreed. "These pants are kind of tight on me. Not the legs, obviously, but…" 

"I guess you are a little bulkier than I am," Killua said thoughtfully. "Anyway, I call first dibs in the shower…" a mischievous grin alighted on his face "...unless you wanna share?" 

Gon's eyes widened and his skin darkened with a blush. 

"I'm kidding," Killua said. 

_ Unless…?  _

Killua thought Gon might have looked a little disappointed for a moment but then laughed and said, "Yeah, I can wait." 

_ Hmm, okay.  _

"Alright, let you know when I'm done." 

***

"I can't believe you talked me into this…" 

Somehow, they were back at Greed Island. 

"I know you always want to see my dad spin," Gon replied confidently. 

He did. Killua was a sucker for a good DJ and Ging was the best. Plus, their money and supplies were running low and they could use a place to stay while they got ready to hit the road again. 

But if Illumi found them here, all was lost. 

“Gon!” Razor, bouncer and Ging’s personal friend, called from the door. “Get up here!”

“Razor!” Gon greeted, trotting up. “You don’t usually work Thursdays!”

“I do now. Thursdays started getting busier and rowdier while you were away. You know your parents like having my muscle on the busy days.”

It was understandable. Razor was one of the most muscular people Killua had ever seen. He was an intimidating sight to see. 

"Well, come on in," Razor said. "Can't have the owners' kid standing in line, can I?" 

Headphones donned, Killua and Gon made their way to the bar. 

"Good to see you two," Kite said warmly. "Came to hear your dad spin?" 

Gon grinned brightly. 

"Well what can I get you? You've been away a while so…how about the drinks from the first time you were here together?" 

"Yeah, that sounds good to me," Killua said. "A - " 

" - Not Your Father's Root Beer for Killua and a water for Gon," said Kite. 

"My mom has a great memory," Gon said. 

"Damn, apparently." 

Gon caught Kite up on their recent travels while they had their drinks and when they were done, they hit the floor to dance. 

It was the middle of DJ Freak's signature song that Killua spotted Illumi. 

He grabbed Gon by the shoulders. 

"Gon, it's Illumi! He hasn't spotted us yet but we need to go now!" 

"Okay, let's go!" Gon said, grabbing Killua's hand and walking towards the door immediately. "If we go the long way home, we should be able to lose him in the alleys." 

Killua looked back to check where Illumi was and locked eyes with him. 

"Shit! He saw me! We gotta run!" Killua urged. 

They made it out of the club and headed down the street. 

It was Gon's turf so Killua followed him through a maze of alleyways. 

"We're almost there," Gon said. "Last one!" 

Killua could see lit pavement past Gon, but suddenly their hands lost grip and Gon disappeared in a flash. Killua tripped and skidded down the alley a short way before regaining his footing and turning back to see what had happened. 

"Gon?" 

He didn't answer, but it was too dark to see what was going on, so Killua turned on the flashlight on his phone and shone it in Gon's approximate direction. 

Illumi.

Illumi had Gon by the throat, trapped against the wall. Gon's skin grew darker and darker as Illumi choked him. He was somehow still putting up a strong fight, though Illumi was much stronger.

"Illumi, just let him go," Killua said, his voice low and even as though were negotiating a hostage release. "I'll come back with you, I'll let you finish erasing my memories, please, I'll do  _ anything. _ Just let Gon go." 

"He's a distraction to you, Killu," Illumi said dispassionately. "I'm going to kill him to eliminate him as an obstacle for you. You should be thankful, little brother. Now, turn off the light or someone will see us." 

Tears of desperation welled in Killua's eyes. 

" _ Please _ , Illumi!" he begged. "Anything but this! I won't see him again! I won't ever _ leave _ again!  _ Illumi! _ Take me home and lock me in the dungeon! Burn me! Beat me! Starve me! I… I'll take it." 

Killua was small and powerless again before Illumi. He always was. Nothing went right if it wasn't what Illumi wanted. 

He should never have left home. 

_ After all I've done -  _

"...I deserve it." 

"Of course you do, Killu," said Illumi. "Clearly, you've had your whims indulged too much these past few years and need to be re-educated. Don't worry, I'll take care of it myself. I'll be sure this time to thoroughly - ah?" 

Gon took in a huge breath. 

Gon started yelling at Illumi with a hoarse, croaking voice. Through coughing fits, he berated and verbally eviscerated Illumi, using swear words Killua hadn't even heard of before. 

" - And don't you  _ ever _ tell him he deserves to be locked up or starved or burned or beaten!"

Gon took a swing at Illumi. 

Illumi raised his arm and blocked.

"Don't you ever speak to him again!" 

Gon swung with his other fist and connected with Illumi's face. 

"Don't you ever touch him again!" 

Gon punched Illumi again. 

"I won't let you ever even _ see _ him again!" Gon roared. 

Gon planted his knuckles in Illumi's face one last time, knocking him to the ground.

"If you ever come near Killua again, I will  _ fucking kill you _ and that is a  _ promise _ !" 

Illumi looked as though he had something to say, but said nothing. With his left hand, he examined his cheek and jaw. Killua now noticed Gon had somehow crushed Illumi’s right forearm, contorting into an unnatural shape covered in blood and bruising. Most of the right side of his face was also mottled with blotches of browns, purples, and reds, especially around his jaw and cheekbone. Killua couldn’t help but wonder how many of Illumi’s bones Gon had broken or crushed in their brief exchange. 

Seeming satisfied with his investigation, Illumi silently stood up, turned, and walked away. 

Killua was still processing Illumi’s exit when something heavy and warm slammed into him.

“Killua!” Gon rasped, squeezing him tight. “Don’t say those kinds of things. Don’t repeat whatever lies he’s told you.”

Killua felt like he'd had the wind knocked out of him. No one talked to him like that. 

"Let's go home," said Gon. "I think I've got some of that asshole's blood on me and I wanna wash up." 

***

Once they had both washed up at Gon's house, Gon looked at himself in the mirror. 

"Does it look bad?" Gon asked. 

But Killua couldn't answer. 

He stood closer to Gon than he normally would have dared. He held Gon's head in his hands and tilted it gently to look at his neck. 

"You…saved me…" 

Killua bent down and touched his lips to the bruises on Gon's throat worshipfully. Gon's arms wrapped around to pull their bodies together and his breathing got heavy and shaky. 

Killua had spent lots of nights with lots of people but it hadn't ever felt like this. It hadn’t ever felt like the way Gon held him close. Like the way warmth radiated off his body and soaked into Killua. Like the way his chest expanded and collapsed between them. Like the way his warm breath whispered past Killua’s ear.

_ Oh no. What am I doing? _ Killua thought.

He quickly extricated himself from the embrace, missing Gon’s touch and warmth right away.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Killua spat, angry at himself. “I can’t do this.”

"Can't…? Killua, what's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" Gon asked, rapid-fire. "I'm sorry! Whatever it is, I won't do it again! Killua, talk to me!"

Killua walked to the other end of the room and turned his back on Gon. Subconsciously trying to recreate the secure feeling he’d had when Gon was holding him, he wrapped his arms around himself.

"I can't do this!" Killua said again. "I can't…! I can't risk ruining everything!" 

"Ruining everything?" Gon repeated. "Wait, come back! What do you mean?" 

Killua blurted, "I can't fall in love with you and jeopardize every good thing I've ever had just because I can't be satisfied being your friend!" 

"You're in love with me?" Gon asked. 

Killua's eyes filled with desperate tears and his chest felt like it was going to explode. 

" _ Yes _ ."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all are getting a twofer today! And it's totally not because I lost track of the days until final release date nope definitely not uh-uh

Gon made a face indicating he was deep in thought.

_ Fuck! What is he thinking? _ Killua agonized.

“Gon,” Killua said, his heart about to leap out of his chest. “Say something. Even if it’s just to tell me to go away and never come back.”

Gon looked up then, wide-eyed. 

"What? No!" he said. "Of course not! I would never! Because I'm in love with you too!" 

The ease with which Gon's confession left his lips left Killua dumbfounded. How did this one man leave him speechless so often? 

"You…love me too?" Killua asked. 

"Yeah! I…well, I thought you knew that," Gon said. "I had no idea you didn't know I loved you too! I'm so sorry, Killua." 

Gon went to Killua and held him close again. He leaned up and kissed Killua's temple a couple of times and then nuzzled his head against Killua's cheek. 

“It must have been hard to keep this in for all this time,” he said. 

Killua finally let himself return Gon’s embrace.

_ How did I get so lucky? _

It was the first time Killua had really felt loved. Sure, he knew a lot of his former partners liked him and a few of them had definitely said, “I love you,” but this… this was what it felt like to be loved. Now he knew.

“You’re really strong, Killua,” Gon said in a happy but strained voice. “You’re squeezing me so tight, it’s hard to breathe!”

Killua immediately released Gon. “Ah, crap, I’m sorry, I got all caught up in - ”

“Killua! It’s okay! I liked it!” Gon reassured him. “I want you to always hold me tight like that.”

Killua looked up and saw a bright, earnest smile on Gon’s face. Killua’s turned red.

_ Well, fuck, _ he thought.  _ Sex I can do but this sweet shit? I’m toast. _

“How do you always manage to do this?” Killua pouted. “I’ve done things with people that would make a priest cry, and none of it got to me like you do with your… being all shameless with the stuff you say.”

Gon giggled. “Why should I be ashamed? Love is a good thing!”

Killua didn't know how to respond to that. He was feeling so many different things at once, he was overwhelmed and couldn't even really separate them out. 

Then he felt something he did know how to respond to. 

Gon pressed himself up against Killua's back and ran his hands up under Killua's shirt. 

"Do you like this, Killua?" he asked. 

Killua's eyes slid shut and he let out a sigh. 

"Finally speaking a language I know," Killua said. "Yeah, I like it." 

Gon giggled. "Good." 

Gon continued to work Killua up, showing him loving attention. It was a little simple but, then, Gon didn't seem the type to be very experienced. 

"Okay, okay, handsy," Killua teased, turning to face Gon. "Take me to bed already, unless you're trying to make me ruin my clothes." 

Gon kissed Killua, picked him up with somewhat surprising ease, and took him to their bed. 

"You're sure you want to do this?" Killua asked. 

Gon nodded. 

Killua grinned excitedly.

"Then let's get naked!" 

***

"Isn't it a little ironic that the first night we aren't staying at a love hotel is when we make love for the first time?" Gon asked. 

Killua laughed. 

"Who even says 'make love' anymore?" Killua teased. "But yeah, it is." 

"Was I okay?" Gon asked. "It was my first time so I don't really know how to tell." 

"Well, you've got down the 'listening to your partner' skill, and that makes the biggest difference, really," Killua said. "So I guess you're a natural." 

Gon smiled. 

"So I made you feel good?" 

"Yeah," Killua chuckled. "You made me feel really good." 

Nothing needed to be said for a while and they just laid in the bed beside each other. 

"Man, this is gonna be the first time I stick around with someone after banging them," Killua said. 

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Gon snuggled up to him and said, "I'm glad I was that good." 

"Could have done without your parents showing up though." 

Gon laughed.

"Well, they knew we were okay, at least!" 

“I think your dad said, ‘healthy?’”

Gon laughed again.

“Is this normally what people talk about after sex?” he asked.

“Honestly, most people are out once I’m done with them,” Killua said. “So I guess I don’t really have much pillow talk experience.”

He let Gon pull him into a sweet kiss.

“Well, it’s good enough for me.”

***

_ Damn it. This dream again.  _

Killua was surrounded by mist. It wasn't cold or warm, wet or dry. It just was. He could move through it but it stung a little, like static electricity, and moving made the stings happen more frequently. 

The mist itself wasn't threatening or scary but something was  _ wrong _ . He needed to do something. He needed - 

"Find me, Brother," said a voice in the mist. 

"Help, Killua," said another. 

“Kalluto?” Killua asked the first voice.

“Your sisters,” the voices said together.

“Sisters…? I don’t have any sisters,” Killua said.

“Sisters.”

“Who are you?” Killua asked the voices. “What are your names?” 

"Alluka," said the first voice. 

"Nanika," said the second. 

"Alluka… Nanika…" Killua repeated. "Why can I still not remember?" 

"Alluka" and "Nanika" repeated their names as he tried to figure it out. The fuzzy spot in his brain resisted his attempts to breach it. It was so uncomfortable, it almost hurt but he persisted. 

Suddenly the spot in his mind disintegrated and the fog dispelled. Two young women stood in front of him, holding hands. They were almost identical with the same slim, muscular body, long brown hair pulled back, and even the same clothes. The main difference between them was in their faces. One girl had bright blue eyes, normal looking eyes, and the other jet black all the way, no whites in her eyes, and they were very large. The girl with black eyes was also much more pale and her mouth didn't look quite right, more like a void positioned above her chin than an actual mouth. 

At once, he knew them. 

"Alluka! Nanika!" he cried.

He rushed forward to hold them but he jolted awake before he could reach them.

Now that he was awake, memories of Alluka and Nanika flooded out from where they had been partitioned off. His head was pounding and he remembered with growing panic the danger his sisters were in. 

"Killua? What's wrong?" asked Gon, sitting up beside him. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you last night?" 

"No, no, it wasn't you," Killua said. "Fuck, Gon! It's my sisters!" 

"What?" 

"My sisters! Alluka and Nanika! They're who I'm looking for! Who my family tried to make me forget!" 

"Why would - ?" 

"Because my family thinks they're 'wrong,' not even human," Killua said. "Agh, my head…"

"Do you want some water? Or medicine?" Gon asked. 

"No, I'm…well, I'll  _ be _ fine," Killua said. 

He got up and started pacing. He needed a plan. He needed to know what to do. Where? When?  _ How? _ With his memories filing back into their rightful spots, it was anarchy in his mind. Coming up with a plan would normally have been a quick and easy task for him, but now he could barely think straight. 

"I need to go home. That's where my sisters are. I need to save them." 

His pacing grew more furious. 

"It's going to be dangerous. My family is dangerous and powerful. You don't need to come with me. I don't expect you to." 

He suddenly realized Gon had been moving around him as he paced. 

"Gon? What are you doing?" 

"Packing," Gon answered.

"Gon, I'm really serious," Killua said. "You don't need to come. I don't want you to be in danger. You remember what happened with Illumi." 

"Yeah, I broke his arm," said Gon. "And then his face." 

"After he nearly  _ killed you _ ! Did you even know he was there until he was choking you?" 

Gon shrugged. 

Killua sighed heavily. 

"You're gonna want to come no matter what I say, aren't you?" 

Gon nodded. 

Killua internally admitted defeat and said, "Okay, let's make a plan then."

Killua drew up a map of the Zoldyck house grounds and the areas they'd need to get into to break Alluka and Nanika out. Gon praising his artistic ability did not make it easier to concentrate on the drawing so it took a while, but eventually they had several maps on the table for reference.

"We're gonna have to try to sneak in," said Killua. "The farther we can get without them knowing we're there, the better." 

Gon nodded. 

"They  _ will _ come after us once they know we're there and they probably won't just capture you, they'll kill you." 

Gon nodded again. 

"...Why are you willing to take a risk like this for me?" 

Gon looked at Killua like he'd asked the strangest, most obvious question he'd ever heard.

"Because I love you," he answered. 

Killua kissed Gon. 

"Thank you. I love you, too." 

Gon smiled. 

"Good! So let's go break your sisters out!" 


	5. Chapter 5

The basement was not exactly your typical basement. 

Killua tried to suppress the anxiety that bubbled up as they walked past all the reminders of bad memories from his childhood. He grabbed Gon's hand and was able to let go of some of the tension in his body with a sigh. Gon gripped his hand firmly back. 

"I'm here, Killua," Gon said quietly. 

Killua nodded. 

"Here it is."

The door in front of them was reinforced metal and had half a dozen locks on it. 

"This is horrible!" Gon said. "Why do they keep your sisters locked up like this?" 

"They're very strong and have gotten out multiple times before," Killua said. "When they're together, they're capable of a lot, but when they tried keeping them apart, they, mostly Alluka, raged and destroyed… _ a lot _ . So now they just keep Alluka and Nanika imprisoned together." 

Gon’s expression darkened. He first looked sick to his stomach at Alluka and Nanika’s living situation. Then, fury settled on his face. Killua didn’t know Gon could even make a face like that, so chilling and filled with cold rage.

"Let's get them out," was Gon's tight reply. 

Most of the locks were easy enough to undo, but one, Killua knew, was wired to a security system. 

"Once we break this, they're gonna know we're down here and what we're trying to do," he told Gon. "Are you ready?" 

Gon, still furious, just nodded. 

"Okay." 

Killua took a breath and severed the final lock. A deafening siren blared. 

_ Shit! _

Gon was crouched on the floor in pain, his hands tightly covering his ears. 

"Killua!" he cried out. 

Killua's mind raced. He cursed that the need for stealth and speed had necessitated such light travel. There was nothing to mitigate the debilitating pain Gon looked to be in. What could he do? Should he abandon everything, carry Gon, and try to run? Would he even make it? 

His spiraling thoughts were interrupted when the door flew open. 

"Let's go!" shouted Alluka.

"We have to do something for Gon!" Killua yelled back. "He can't move and I won't be able to carry him all the way out of here!" 

Killua looked down to see Gon's face darkening and tears drip onto the floor beneath him. 

"Nanika, can you make him something to protect his ears?" asked Killua. 

"'Ai," was her reply. 

"You'll need to carry him in the meantime. We need to go. The Mikes will be here soon," Alluka urged. 

Killua nodded and scooped up Gon. He was heavier than Killua expected but nothing he couldn't handle. Gon was breathing hard and had his eyes screwed shut, trying to cope with the painfully loud siren. 

"Okay, I've got him, let's go," said Killua. 

Nanika kept pace with Killua so she could hand him whatever she made as soon as she was finished. Fortunately, it didn't take long. 

"Here," said Nanika, offering Killua something that looked like wireless, over-the-ear headphones. "Block sound." 

He set Gon down and helped him put on the device Nanika had made. 

"Ear defenders?" Gon asked. 

Killua shrugged, unsure. 

“Nanika made them for you. Can you still hear?” he asked. 

“Yeah, but everything’s way quieter.” 

"Sounds good. Can you run on your own now?" 

Gon nodded and Killua offered him a hand up. 

"Okay, then let's go!" 

"Mikes!" Alluka warned. "They're right behind us!" 

"What are Mikes?" Gon asked. 

"Guard dogs," Killua answered. 

"Oh! I'm good with dogs!" Gon said, stopping to wait for the dogs to catch up. 

Alluka snagged his hand and dragged him onward. "You're not good with these dogs, I guarantee it! Come on! We're almost to the door!"

The clanging of metal paws running on the concrete floor joined the cacophony of noises already filling the tunnel. 

Nanika made it to the door first and held it for everyone behind her. Killua made it through first, Gon and Alluka lagging behind. The Mikes were right on their heels when they made it through. Nanika landed a loud, hard kick to the chest of three of the Mikes at once and jumped through the door, slamming it behind them. 

Gon, Killua, and Alluka were each in various recovery positions from their sprint and were breathing heavily. Gon removed the ear defenders and let them rest on his shoulders, no longer needing their protection from the siren. He looked curiously at Nanika and then to Killua for explanation. 

"That's Nanika. She's an android with a learning processor created from Alluka's brain," Killua huffed out. 

Gon seemed satisfied with the explanation. 

"She has the ability to create things. One of Milluki's best projects, really," Alluka added. "Speaking of, he's supposed to be coming today to do maintenance on Nanika. He's probably who we'll see first. I don't know about you, brother, but I've been hit with his whip plenty of times, I'd rather not add more. We need to get moving again." 

Killua straightened up. 

"I'd rather his whip than Illumi's literal anything, but I get it," he said. "Let's go." 

***

Alluka continued to explain Nanika to an obviously interested Gon as they walked briskly through the dungeon-like basement tunnels. She explained that Milluki had devised a device similar to the memory erasers to scan, record, and copy her brain's contents into a learning program and then he built Nanika around that. She used to have shape-shifting abilities too but she used it once to change from Milluki's original design of an anime nurse with oversized breasts to one closer to Alluka's form and then refused to use it again until Milluki broke that in anger too. 

"So what happened?" asked Alluka after thoroughly explaining Nanika. 

Killua heaved a sigh. 

"They caught me when we tried to escape together and they tried to wipe my memory of the plan, and even of the two of you," he said. "But the sedative wore off before they could finish the wipe and I escaped on my own. I actually still don't remember what our escape plan was, they got that memory entirely, but I ran off on my own, hitting clubs every night and knowing I had something I needed to find, but not remembering what."

He then detailed the rest of his journey from there, the recurring dream, meeting Gon, Illumi. 

"Hm!" Alluka nodded appreciatively when fully brought up to speed. "Damn! Okay, I guess you're forgiven for abandoning us down there for so long." 

"Come on! I didn't abandon you!" Killua groused. "I can't really abandon people I don't remember, can I?" 

Alluka laughed. "Oh my god, did you take that seriously? Are you gonna cry or something?"

"Don't cry, Killua!" Nanika said, concerned. "I love Killua! Don't blame!" 

She came and hugged Killua. 

Alluka frowned.

"We've been working on getting her speech and vocabulary back, but Milluki really did a number on her when she mouthed off last time." 

Killua patted Nanika's head. 

"It's probably good you two can communicate telepathically," said Killua. "Do you guys even use words when you do that?" 

Alluka shrugged. "No." 

"No need," Nanika confirmed. 

Just then, they heard clumsy sounding footfalls and heavy breathing. 

"Damn you guys for making me run all this way!" Milluki huffed, running into view. 

"Maybe you should just let us leave," said Alluka. "No more running after us that way." 

"Are you kidding me? If I just let you guys go, they'll have me in the dungeon for weeks!  _ With Illumi! _ " 

"Don't care," Nanika said. "Deserve it." 

Milluki winced then lashed out, "You know what? I should have destroyed you completely! You're a giant piece of garbage! Defective!" 

"Enough insults," Killua commanded. "If you're not gonna let us go, let's fight. We'll kill you and  _ then _ leave." 

"Yeah, right!" Milluki scoffed. "Like I'd take you all on by myself. You guys are so stupid! You didn't think this whole thing was just to buy time for backup?" 

"Enough, Milluki." 

Their father's strong, commanding voice came from the tunnel as he and two others appeared.

The three who came down the tunnel were their parents and grandfather. Milluki looked smug as he crossed his arms over his chest. 

"Always acting like such a child," Zeno commented.

Milluki's smugness was replaced by a flush of embarrassment. It was quickly accompanied by gritted teeth and a deep scowl. 

Killua liked and respected their grandfather, but it wasn't hard to understand Milluki's hate and disgust. Zeno was often, if not always, very critical towards him. 

"Killu," Kikyo crooned. "Come back to us! Enough of this silly running around, you understand? You'll only need to spend a couple of days in punishment if you come back now!" 

"Like hell!" Killua spat. "I stabbed you and ran away for a reason! And like I don't know you're just gonna try to wipe my memory again!" 

"Killu!" Kikyo's voice grew shrill. "You know we did that for your benefit! As we do everything!" she modulated her voice back to a croon, "We only want the best for you. You're going to be the next leader of the family after all." 

"Yeah, well you can stuff that in your - !" 

"Killua," Silva silenced him. 

When the hall was silent, Silva sat. As he was the head of the family, all the Zoldycks in the room followed suit. 

"Gon," Killua said quietly. "Come on, sit down. My dad wants to talk." 

Gon refused to budge. 

"This might be the easiest way to get out of here," Killua insisted. "And the safest, without putting any of us in danger again." 

With a growl, Gon acquiesced. 

"Killua," said Silva. "Tell me about your time on your own. I'd like to hear what you've been doing and how you've been." 

Killua gave an overview of his travels since he had left the house last time. 

"You didn't seem to ever take out enough money to pay for lodging, or food really," Silva commented with a hint of a compliment. "Were you squatting?" 

"Nah, I was couch surfing and I usually got at least one meal out of my hosts." 

"Oh? And they didn't ask you for money?" 

"Not really. It turns out if you're good enough, you can fuck people into happily letting you sleep in their beds and eat their food." 

"You seduced people into giving you housing and feeding you?" 

Killua shrugged. "For the most part." 

Silva was silent for a moment and then nodded. 

"I shouldn't be surprised to hear my son is skilled in this way too." 

It made Killua feel a bit proud and happy to see his father proud of him, even if he knew Silva still saw him as a commodity just like Kikyo did. He at least did the caring parent act much better than she did. 

When Killua finished his story, Silva nodded. 

"And now you want to leave with…" Silva hesitated to pick his words "...those two and Gon?" 

"Yes." 

Silva was silent for a while as he considered it. 

"...I will allow it." 

" _ WHAT? _ " Kikyo shrieked.

She jumped to her feet and made to run to grab Killua, but Silva caught her wrist and stopped her. 

"He's a young adult finding himself," said Silva. "Any son of mine will definitely return to his family willingly once he's gotten this youthful rebellion out of his system, and he'll be a greater successor to my mantle as a result of it." 

The digital eye on her visor moved wildly about as she panicked. 

Silva's voice was slightly softer when he commanded her to sit back down. It was subtle, but he did show her more gentleness than others in the family. 

She sat back down and collapsed into him, making sobbing noises. Killua couldn't fathom why she bothered with that since it didn't evoke pity from him and she couldn't really cry anyway, not anymore, not since she'd replaced her real eyes with the visor. 

"You have our leave to go," said Silva. "Illumi will not follow you." 

"What about my android? They want to take that too!" Milluki complained. 

"Didn't you say earlier it was defective and garbage?" Silva said, impassive. "Just make a new one to replace it." 

"Her! She's a her!" Alluka corrected. "And you can't and won't ever replace her! You'll never see her or me again! I'm not your son and I'm not your daughter anymore, either! I'm never coming back to this disgusting excuse for a family! Who the fuck locks their child in the basement for years on end?" 

"You stopped being my child a long time ago," Silva said. "Killua, you are permitted to take the prisoners with you as well, both of them, and get rid of them by the time you return." 

Killua felt rage boiling in his chest, but it suddenly stopped when Gon took his hand. 

"You're right, Killua," he said. "We should go now. No fighting." 

The four of them stood. 

"Goodbye, father," said Killua. 

"Farewell for now, Killua," Silva said. "And remember, never betray your allies." 

"I won't."

***

"How are you even capable of eating like this?" Killua asked. 

Alluka was shoveling food in her mouth like a starving wolf, precious little effort put into maintaining any decorum. 

"Listen, asshole, I've been living in a dungeon for about as long as I can remember, and  _ I _ didn't have the privilege of being the heir apparent," she retorted. "This is the best I've eaten since you got out. I'll eat how I want." 

Killua groaned and rolled his eyes. 

"Glad we came to a buffet…" 

"Hey, don't forget," she said, pointing a fork at him. "I have never once eaten ass so I  _ really  _ don't want to hear judgement from you." 

Killua blushed hard. He tried to defend himself but he just tripped over his words. 

"I can't wait to take them home to my parents!" Gon said, laughing. "They'll love Alluka and Nanika!"

_ Home _ . 

He had a home now. And a real family. 

"Killua? ... Killua? Why are you crying?" 

He grabbed Gon and kissed him like he was dying and only Gon's kiss could keep him alive. 

Then he held him tight and said, "I'm ready to go home with you." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking around! Hope y'all enjoyed! All of your comments have been so motivational me inspiring! Thank you all for the interaction! It's so very appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is fully written and will be released over time with the final chapter to come out on July 1st. I confess I'm still deciding on how to split into chapters but there should be between 4 and 6 chapters I think. Hope you'll stick around!


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